Lollipop Day Dreams

I am cursed.  I am burdened with the delusions of luscious grandeur per my fantasies.  They tend to blend together like an alchemist using tonics for love and sadness mixed together.  Love potion number 9 cooked up right in the kitchen sink of my mind.  Lust driven and heat seeking missiles set off by the buzzer hit with the very first thought.  Attention paid in full with the first exchange of words leading to more.  A fix, a hit, a minor addiction set aside for solo pleasure and necessity.

The build up much like a cartooned snowball at the top of a mountain.  Gaining size and speed as it tumbles down the illusion become reality covered hill and splatters at the bottom, 90 seconds later with a look of panic and excitement and desire for more but fear of allowing and the days divinity holding hands with the devil and the mind leads them both. But what a rush.

Is it my fault that seduction lies within the four walls of my day dreams?  That my body is my temple and my soul craves what it wants and that my spirit though trapped in this world is free to roam in it’s own fairyland?  Does that make me a criminal?  NO. That makes me human.  And it makes me the woman I am living in a creative utopia.  Humbly satisfied with useful imagery and pleasured by my fabrications one red lipped kiss at a time.  An invitation for continuance but unreceived and unfinished.  Left to hang in the darkened balance once lit by ignited fires now smoldering low and dim.

Attainment and substance became tangible and valid.  Palpable and tactile.

But just like a hallucination, I came down after the high and awoke from my slumber, filled with apparitions of passion into an unfortunate fool’s paradise.  A fable read before bed and enjoyed with each figured page turned on and turned off, just like that. The End not even read aloud but simply and cowardly understood.  How unbecoming.  How unfavorable.  And so it is what it is on this almost spring day with the flakes of winter still coming down reminding me just how cold it can be in this world no matter how hot it gets.

Beware the ides of March they say, but instead, I’ll  drink tea with him in the comforts of my own fantasia and keep that impassable door locked……for now.

 

The desire to do something, especially something wrong or unwise is how it’s defined. A thing or course of action that attracts or tempts someone is another definition.

That is him in a word to me.  That is how I would define how I feel about him.

We have had encounters now.  Skin soaked secrets that live behind our minds and in our souls and stay trapped between the four walls of recreation.  The lure of him is immeasurable.  I am at his mercy just by his look alone.  And if he touches me, I am damned for sure.  His eyes pull me to him.  His cherry lips like a siren’s song as they move when he speaks.  An other worldly tongue tortured tractor beam that takes my breath away when he kisses me.  I am transported directly to depths of my desire that I would gladly stay in with him where I would abide by his code of lust.  His strict, rigorous, iron fisted tormented frenzy of infatuation and sensuality.  Giving him his desired beginnings and endings however he saw fit.  Quenching his thirst and filling his hunger by my own personal decree of satisfaction guaranteed.  A signed oath of rapture and an unspoken vow of devotion and ecstasy.  A physical pledge of passion with an unending eagerness to please him.  And the momentum is unstoppable.  Now that it’s started, I don’t want it to stop.

Minutes pass into hours and hours into days, days spent in wonderment and in a transcendental allured state of being.  A constant want of him that smolders in my subconscious.  Just bubbling under the surface of my skin as his last touch, his last kiss on my lips still linger and my blood runs hot with just the thought of him.  I sit with the cool almost spring air rushing through the opened window yet my body is warm, so warm.  My mind is burning with want.  A need to be consumed by him.  I am fevered by my fantasies and crave release.  It’s necessary.  I am pleasured by the punishment of waiting.  Waiting, drenched in my own desires as I keep myself company until the next time.  Unknown to me when or if that will happen I suck it up and revel in what was and what I hope will be, holding onto nothing and just letting things take their course.  It’s the universe that’s in charge here, I can only entice his direction and play with his will.  And play with him I do.  Showing him a world of swollen white electric heat from his body to mine and how it can be adored and appreciated and where reality can be abandoned.  Reckless but rejuvenated. Nerves should be swallowed while down on your knees praying to the God’s above giving thanks for finding such agonizing sensualism where we can be greedy with one another with out reservation.  A place in our minds and perhaps in reality where overindulgence, excess and seduction are all just like animals on the carousel and you can keep riding even when the music stops.  A manic concocted carnival devised for our ravenous yearning for aphrodisian excitement.

And I will gladly play the part of ringmaster in this circus if he isn’t afraid of the whip.

 

 

 

I had walked down that hall a million times and looked out that very window just as many times as I had walked by it peering down at the people below wondering where they were all going but today my window was occupied.  Occupied by that mysterious “oh my God he’s so cute” guy that I had scene in the library a few times.  The one I wanted to talk to and when he looked at me I would look away and then look back and he was still looking.  There he was standing in the way of my view and from what I saw standing there he had the same wonderment about that quiet glass covered world below as I did.  He looked very lost in thought and I assumed it was thoughts based on the book in his hand but if he was anything like me at all it was the book and much more.  He didn’t look distressed though yet rather curious instead.  I appreciated that.  I smiled as I my legs began to move slower and my body seemed to be reacting to his long frame leaning on that window sill.  I felt my stomach squeeze and my mouth began to dry as I tried to swallow.  He was beautiful in the sunlight that shone in as one beam and then another hit his bare forearm that lead up to his hand touching his lip.  I licked my own lips as I watched him watching the world go by.  His sweater looked old an worn and comfortable. I bet he’d had it a long time.  I bet it smelled of his person.  His scent stuck on the woven cotton as he dare not wash it too often as not to let the washing take away from its comfort.  I could see myself pulling in on over my head and letting it be baggy on my naked skin as we sat and talked and I tucked my knees up under it and let it hold me together as it looks like it’s holding him in the light pouring in that window.  His hair combed back surly by his own hand.  No need for a brush with locks as perfectly fit like those.  Oh and I bet his body underneath that sweater was just as fit.  I could tell by his arms and the veins under his skin that popped up. I wanted to touch them.  His eyes were like blue diamonds from some mystical mountain that desired to be climbed and claimed by my own hands.  And sure enough as I was staring and losing myself in a full blown erotic fantasy, he looked at me.  I stopped, he kept looking.  He smiled.  His lips curled at the edges and his eyes hardened while they danced over me like a sugar plum fairy on the stage at a ballet.  They stuck back to my gaze and we were locked in.  I smiled back and walked towards him.  I tried to keep myself confident and pleaded to the Gods above that I be as graceful as I possibly could and not stumble physically over my own feet or mentally over my words as I began to talk to him.

We discussed the window and the people walking down the sidewalks below.  The hustle and bustle of the city so quiet from up here behind the glass.  We talked about his book and why he’d read it twice already and his likes of literature and mine seemed similar and I found him utterly fascinating.  This stranger in the window was becoming a bit of an obsession of mine for the moment and all time seemed to have stopped.  I forgot where I was going and why and he didn’t seem to have a need to be anywhere so we kept on.  His voice was low and husky with an accent that left me nearly debilitated with each emphasized syllable.  I could listen to him for hours.  The first time he swore made me shutter and the second made me smile.  He seemed very comfortable standing in that window talking to me.  His skin was so light and gentle looking in the sunlight.  It was like porcelain.  I wanted desperately to touch it.  It was hard to concentrate on what he was saying because the mouth that the words were coming out of was designed for nothing but kissing.  His lips were perfectly pink, almost as if they were stained with wine from Dionysus himself.  I was in a trance like state.  Nothing existed at all but he and I.  At one point I laughed and he put his hand on mind that rested on the window sill and I felt as if I were shocked or burnt.  I couldn’t tell which one it was but I felt warm afterwards.  My entire body was enflamed especially from the waist down.  I literally felt weak in the knees.  And when he laughed and he showed his full smile, I am positive I died and became reincarnated right there as we stood.

We discussed the library and he quickly offered to take me to a special area where he finds most of his hidden gems, like the one in his hand.  Now normally, I would hear my mothers voice telling me not to go with a stranger to the library but if she saw him, I bet she’d tell me to go with him.  So I followed along side him to the elevators.  We went up a bout 6 floors I think and stepped out.  As soon as we did that smell hit me.  The paper smell that I love.  He noticed and smirked and said he adores the smell of real books especially old ones.  We walked through the stacks to a section that did look very old.  I hadn’t been on this floor before and I was in heaven.  A beautiful book wielding man standing so tall over me and so close to me that I could feel his body heat on my skin.  It was crackling with tension as we stood so close.  His royal eyes scanning me over and over as we walked up and down the narrow book isles.  I picked a few and he picked two and he began to read from one.  He had chosen poetry and as he recited the verse I nearly came undone right there in that isle.  I had taken my jacket off so my chest was exposed under my v neck t-shirt and it was moving quickly from my breathing change.  I was swallowing my sounds that were becoming audible I am sure.  It was so quiet he had to have heard me moan or at least have witnessed me biting my lip so hard I nearly drew blood.  He stopped and looked up. I was standing there in my grey shirt and jeans, the one with hole in the knee and my red converse fiddling with my fingers as I leaned against the book shelf. I had tucked my black hair behind my ear and he walk towards me with the book now down at his side and reached up and untucked my hair.  His touch was so gentle and meaningful.  I closed my eyes when he did it and my breath was hard out of my open mouth.  He ran his hand fully through my untucked hair and as he did he pulled my head towards him and our lips met.  I wasn’t stopping him.  I was going to let this man from the window with his lustful looks and his longing stare and his delicious lips kiss me and take me on a fantasy walk with our bodies.

My hands went to his waist and when they did he made a sound.  It was an “oh” sound and he moved backwards against the books.  He was so tall that he spread his legs apart so he was at a better height for me to reach him at.  And I was right, that sweater felt as soft as it looked.  Our lips and tongues were in unison and our bodies moving like a dance in the isle.  I was against him as close as I could be.  His hands were large and traveled up and down my back stopping at my backside gripping me, kneading me like he’d never touched a woman before.  I braved it and put my hands under that soft sweater as I wanted to feel him.  Touch him.  Make him feel me.  His hard body trembling under my touch as I ran my hands up over his chest and back down over his stomach.  I pulled it up and saw the firm build of a man who takes care of his body and I had no choice but to kiss him there.  I trailed kisses down his upper body with no fear and I breathed him in as I did it.  He smelled clean and masculine.  I never wanted to loose that scent.  His head tilted back and then forward to watch me kissing him. Our eyes stayed fixed on one another. He pulled me up to him taking me with his mouth once more.  The kissing assault continued as time froze in that isle.  The sounds that came out of mouth excited him as he moved me around.  My back was against the books now and he was trying to prop me up so he could get a better angle with my body touching his.  The rhythm kept going.  The moving, the kissing, he moans and groans and grunts and whimpers.  I wanted to explode.  He had ignited me with sheer curiosity standing in the window while the sun lit him like a spot light.  His hands making me shiver and quiver and his body pressed against mine so hard that I felt like it would leave a permanent imprint on me and I would love that.  A forever reminder of the window man in the soft sweater with perfect hair and lips with the sole purpose of pleasure.  And I was devouring that pleasure one delectable kiss at a time.  His teeth grazing my jaw now and biting at my neck.  I could barely stand it.  I was combustible.  I was flammable. One spark and I would blow.  That’s all it would take and he knew it.  He knew what he needed to do and he did it.  With his touch he did it.  I fell over the edge and he caught me.  He caught me with his bare hands as I leaned into him.  My hands gripping his shoulders and his pulling and tugging at that sweater.  I dug into him as my breathing got louder and my body clinched.  I was undone.  Completely.

It was just us, alone with the books and my breathless body resting against his.  He held me up and pulled me to him.  He held me.  Close.  And I smiled and looked up at him. He pressed his lips to my forehead and then kissed me again.  Softly, slowly and our lips both smiled.  Those books held a secret now.  And so did my mind.  That window will never have the same composition again and my body will never be the same since I decided to stop and talk to that man who blocked my view.  There will be a panoramic pleasure now when I see that window and the sight and spectacle of him will forever be etched in my brain and mine in his and what a scene that was I am sure with only those old books as our witnesses and the vision of our encounter added to the library of our imaginations for the future to fuel our day dreams and day dream we shall.

When you’ve stared at his picture until your eyes are glossy and your mind is in perpetual thought over him and you’ve become curious and intrigued to the point of no return.  So you might as well just let it happen.  Let your mind wander down that hole into the center of the universe of your fantasies.  You might as well, you have no choice at this point but to work it out.  You could be up all night trying the rub that pain out or you could just appreciate the night and all it offers through it’s cover.  It’s black secrets glimmered with star shine and like the day and it’s rainbows it has the moon and it’s beams.  It’s time for darkness to let go into the light of day and then your night thoughts can become your day dreams.  Your fool’s paradise is no musing pipe dream, not anymore.  It’s become a full on phantasmal mirage and you’re so thirsty you’d drink right from his mouth.

Swallow hard and take that incense scented air into your lungs with a deep cleansing breath because where your mind’s going, you’re going to need it.   You can’t help it that you are afflicted with such a sensuous mind that is graced with such a gift of delicious wickedness and mischief that comes running wild with just the flick of a switch in your brain. Like an ignition.

No one is sinless.

You might as well cash in on it and use those beautiful, beastly, damnable thoughts to take you on the ride of your lost in thought life.  Distractions are necessary in this reality to keep things alive and fresh.  They might as well taste as exquisite as they look and feel as satisfying as you want them to.

So hold out your hand for something hearty and open your mouth for something sweet and just…..let…..go.

Curiosity didn’t kill the cat, he made her feel good.

 

A few days had gone by since our meeting at the diner and the activities that took place afterwards at my house.  It was all I could do to manage through the work day with out checking my phone 100 times to see if I had a message from him on whatever social outlet I could search on.  My thumb was tired from tapping that one picture he sent me late last night after he’d gotten home from work and hopped into the shower and snapped a pic of himself and sent it to me.  I was in awe of him.  His body drenched with soapy water.  Bubbles trailing their way down his defined chest resting on each easily seen muscle on his abdominals pointing like a neon arrow directly to a very personal area that was covered in steam from the shower.  I couldn’t resist peeking at that picture every chance I got because he sent it just for me to appreciate and remind me of him and his glorious body.  That same body I saw so many years ago glistening in that campfire light walking towards me with that smile on his face and that same body that was seated on my couch with me on his lap just a couple days ago.  That same body responding to my touch, to my kiss, to me being near him and wanting him. That same body that set mine on fire by just a glimpse of it, in picture form and in reality.  But was this a reality?  Or was it sheer fantasy wrapped up with a bow of I don’t know how long he will even be here.  Either way I was eager to see him again and I wasn’t sure when that would happen again or if it would.  I felt almost desperate about it.  I wanted to send him a message and set up a date but was that too forward of me?  I started to type it out when my phone dinged.  It was a text asking me if I remembered the pond on his families property that night.  Of course I did.  And I responded with that.  He sent me a Google map with directions and said to meet him there tomorrow evening.  It was the pond.  I saw the town name and I knew that’s where it was.  Oh my. It was nearly 20 years since I had been there and I was tickled that he’d even think of something like that.  Thank God it was Friday and I could prep myself tomorrow before seeing him.  I was nervous, excited and so ready for him……again.

I woke up Saturday morning with a burst of energy.  I needed to get some errands done and then get around for the evening.  I was out and about and my phone dinged.  I opened the message and there was a picture of the pond with the  words “see you soon”.  I laughed and said “can’t wait” and hit send.

I was home and in the tub with bubbles up to my nose soaking in lavender bath salts when again with the phone.  “What are you doing?” the text read.  “Bathing” I sent back.  “Let’s see” he said.  Now for the best angle with strategically placed bubbles with a few bits of skin showing aaaannnnddddd…….send.  “Very nice” came back.  I said thank you.  “I love to see you wet” he responded.  I blushed and said “Oh, I do you too. That shower shot”.  I got a laugh face emoji back and I knew I needed to stop this before it got out of control.  I mean I was seeing him in a matter of hours so, I hopped out and dried off, slathered myself with my favorite scented lotion and walked to the bed where I had my underwear and bra laid out with a couple options on what to wear next to them.  I couldn’t decide so I grabbed my phone and took a pic and sent it to him and said “pick one”.  He quickly responded with “the dress and nice panties”.  I didn’t realize those had gotten into the picture but oh well, the dress it was!

Make up done, hair done and my chucks on I grabbed my purse and was out the door with the directions pulled up on my phone.

I arrived at the property.  Things looked similar but different.  I don’t recall too many details as I am sure the several beers made things a bit cloudy.  I parked the car and walked around the gate that was swung open and took a deep breath.  I didn’t see another car yet as I was a bit early.  The breeze smelled sweet like the tall grasses all around the house that was there looked so old.  I wondered if anyone still lived there?  I walked towards the willow trees as I remember the pond being near them.  The sun was peeking out before it was going down for the evening and I could feel it warming the back of my neck and bare shoulders as I trekked back to the pond.  Things were a bit over grown but it was still lovely.  Natures full glory on summer display.  I walked over near the old pier and took my phone out and sent him a quick “I am here” text.  I found a clear spot and decided to sit next to the water.  I sat down after adjusting my dress and untied my shoes as to slip my bare feet and legs into the water.  I leaned back and let my feet slide into the water.  It wasn’t very deep right there so it just came up to my calves.  It was cool against my sun and heat of the day warmed skin.  My hands were laid flat on the grass as my fingers fiddled with the blades as they came up in between them.  I tipped my head all the way back with my eyes closed taking the warm fresh air into my lungs with a deep breath and letting my hair fall over my shoulders and down my neck to my back.  I wanted this solo moment to be imprinted on my brain as to never forget it.

Soon the air changed.  I could smell something different.  It was masculine and clean.  I opened my eyes, my vision adjusting as the sun had been on my face and left it blurry and he was standing there.  I swallowed as my heart sped up and my flattened palms began to tingle against the grass.  I pulled my legs out of the water to get up and he said “No no, don’t move, I like you right there just like that”.  So I stayed and he came down to me.  He was so tall.  I forget how tall until I am near him.  His hair laid perfectly on his head and his white button up shirt gapped a little and I could see his bare toned chest as he sat down near me then scooted behind me.  His long muscular legs along me on each side of me.  His khaki shorts soft as I put my hands on him.  He had stepped out of his shoes too so his bare feet were touching mine as they slid past them into the water.  I leaned back into him as his long arms wrapped around me.  He felt so good.  His body so firm and tight against me.  He dipped his head through my hair and kissed my neck a few times saying “I am glad you wore the dress, it suites you and fits you so well”.  I smiled and said thank you and tried hard not to explode from his touch and from his kiss.  He kept up the torture of the kisses along my neck from the back to the sides and then down my shoulders.  My hands gripping fabric on him and running up and down his legs wanting to reach behind me and touch him.  I wanted to kiss him.  I pulled my legs out of the water and quickly turned to him.  Oh he was so attractive.  It’s like the first time every time when I see him.  It’s always astonishing to me how beautiful he is.  His eyes and how they look at me with such desire and want.  His lips as if they were drawn on his mouth and made for kissing.  They were delicious and I wanted to taste them. NOW.  I slammed myself into him and he was ready.  I couldn’t handle it.  I had to have him again.  It was a full on kissing assault.  It went from slight and soft to dangerous and devouring in a matter of moments.  His hands grabbing me around my waist and then cupping my ass, he pulled me onto him.  My wet feet and legs firmly around him now as my mouth became furious for him.  I couldn’t stop.  The sounds of approval and necessity he was making drove me to kiss him harder and deeper.  I wanted to be at the bottom of him with my tongue.

My hands in his hair and on his cheeks and down his back.  His hands tightly gripping me still on top of him dropping down from my back to my ass again and then down the sides of my thighs as he’d pushed up the fabric of my dress so my legs were bare against his touch.  His hands scorching me with their heat and connection.  The air was thick and humid as if it were going to rain at any moment and beads of sweat were forming on his skin.  That made him smell even better.  I licked his salty neck from the sweat and licked my lips in appreciation of him.  I wanted to feel him against me so I unbuttoned his shirt shoved it off of him exposing his splendorous body.  Each muscle moving and cut through his skin.  The glory of this man’s body was as if it were built just for sex.  The Adam of my garden and I was about to bite that apple and revel in the sinful and delectable creation of this man and his body.  That body that was under me, ready for me and I was for him.  The rhythm of our kissing had changed and quickly he moved me off of him and onto the ground.  I laid there looking up at him trying to find the air in my lungs as he stared at me.  He smiled and leaned down and kissed my forehead, eyes, cheeks and mouth.  He felt so right and so wrong all at the same time but no matter, it was happening.

My eyes were closed and suddenly I felt small drops of rain.  We were under the cover of a large willow tree but the rain drops  were sneaking through and falling on us.  His bare back  was getting wet and my hands were sliding over the water as were my fingers down his skin. It was magical with each changing movement like a sensual symmetry between us.  Our bodies in the rain like a ravenous rhapsody.  A symphony of our flesh so spiritual and organic to be in nature like we were.  To be there unchaste and unburdened and intertwined in such a beautiful, sensual and salacious way was perfect.  It was definitely another memory of him I will never forget.

He called me out of the blue telling me he was in town for a visit.  He hadn’t been home in quite some time and he wanted to get together if I was available.  I hadn’t heard from him in years but I figured why not?  I had watched his updates on social media so I had seen how he’d grown up and oh my had he and appreciated the man he’d become.

We were just kids when we first met and then teenagers when he showed interest in me.  Oh those were the days.  Carefree and no responsibilities.  Just summer time fun.  And fun was what we had.  I wasn’t a very promiscuous girl but there was something about him that made me feel a little naughty.  He was somewhat claimed by a friend of mine so I never really pursued him.  There was one night though.  She had made him mad and I didn’t understand her leading him on like that so when she left, I stayed to comfort him.  He came out by the campfire I was sitting next to and sat across from me.  His shirt was off and he had ripped jeans on and his feet were bare.  I watched him walking towards me.  So tall and lean.  He was an athlete in high school and he kept his body fit.  The fire glistening against his sweaty skin. It was mid summer so it was humid that evening.  He had his shirt in his hands and whipped it over his shoulder and sat down.  He seemed upset.  I grabbed a couple beers and took one to him.  They had been in a watery cooler and the ice slipped off onto his stomach.  I tried so hard not to stare at it as it rolled down melting in a tiny pool near the band of his jeans.  I swallowed hard and closed my eyes trying not to lick my lips as I wanted to run my tongue over that cool water on his skin.  He totally saw me staring and he smiled at me and opened the beer, took a drink and took my hand and pulled me to him.  I was sitting on his lap with my arm around his neck and my feet dangling to the side.  I kicked off my sandals and looked around.  We were alone.  He knew it too. With liquid courage I leaned down and kissed him.  His lips so soft against mine.  His tongue sliding in and out of my mouth slowly and his hands also sliding slowly up my back.  I felt the heat from the fire against my bare legs and arms as I was dressed in cut off jean shorts and a tank top.  He pulled at me as to move my legs so I would be straddling him.  I pulled away and looked around again.  He did too.  I stood up and seemed cautiously curious. He was looking up at me smiling and nothing was even said.  I moved my body around so I was fully facing him.  He adjusted himself on the lawn chair and patted his lap again and I moved over him and  positioned myself back on him.  The kissing commenced and continued until we heard laughter in the distance.  I quickly got up and moved to the chair next to him.  Our eyes locked and my body on fire and it wasn’t from the heat of the night but from him.  I took a quick sip of my beer hoping it would calm me and I could control my breathing but I couldn’t stop looking at him and he at me.  He tilted his head towards the house and I nodded no.  He laughed with understanding.  We needed to keep whatever we just did and might do again discrete.  He wasn’t exactly in a relationship with my friend but I didn’t want to upset her but damn it I wanted him.  We were joined by a few other people and the looks between he and I danced back and fourth that night and several nights after that but that’s as far as it ever went.

And now, he’s contacted me and I was anxious to see him.

He invited me to meet him at a local diner for an early dinner.  I got there just as the rain had paused and dodged the drops as I rushed in.  I was shaking the water off of me and pushing my hair out of my face while looking around for him and there he was.  He was seated in a booth dressed in an off white t-shirt with his hair styled back and a smile that lit up the room when he saw me.  My stomach dropped.  I immediately felt 19 again.  My mouth dried and my heart raced.  I suddenly felt warm and my skin tingled.  He tilted his head to one side looking at me in wonderment.  I snapped out of my imagination and walked towards him.  He stood up and was in jeans that looked very similar to the ones from all those years ago.  He put his arms out right away to hug me.  Our embrace was like a full on head rush for me.  He looked so good and he smelled even better.  I took a deep breath as he pulled me closer to him and gently squeezed me.  He smelled expensive and natural.  Like Gucci and camping mixed together.  It made me dizzy.  He made me dizzy.  I sat across from him and our conversation went back and fourth over burgers and fries and soda’s.  He laughed about things I said and I swear it sounded just like his laugh that night around the fire.  He had a dashing smile.  One that could absolutely demolish a virgin in her tracks.  I mean it was knee buckling.  And his eyes. Oh those eyes that sparkled and danced and caressed me from across that table.  When I spoke he listened with his ears and those eyes.  They never left mind except to glance down at my mouth. I was doing the same to him though.  His lips were drawn by God himself with the full intention to be worshiped by another’s.  They were beyond kissable they were luscious and sculpted and I remember how soft they were.  I wondered if they were still that soft?  I watched him take bites of his burger and imagining that mouth on mine.  His teeth exposed with each bite made me think of them grazing my jaw as he kissed it. He finished his sentences with perfect punctuation and his voice was like the rapture on earth.  He was a divine creature with pure sin for blood in that delicious body that sat across from me. He moved his arms and hands with such smooth motions.  His body was like a musical composed just for me watch and his words drifted from his mouth to my ears like a song and it heightened every sense of my being.  All five senses were in vivid technicolor and I was prickling with heat.  I was trying to look away from him talking but I was engulfed by him.  He was so attractive it was almost magical.  He was like a unicorned deity of sex sitting right across from me and I could barely contain myself.  This was far beyond the secret teenage whispered PG-13 fantasies of time gone by. Oh this had simmered so long that it was about to be X-Rrated.

We were finishing up our meal when the check came and we both went for it.  Our hands touched and I swear there was a spark.  He kept it on top of mine looking at me. And I mean he was really looking at me.  I moved my hand out from under his and let him take the check.  He got up and took it up to the counter by the door to pay and as he did I watched him walk away from me and decided that time we had all those years back needed to be recreated and finished.  It was time to make another memory.  The adult version.   He walked with confidence and he had a swagger about him.  He paid, leaning forward on the counter and looked back at me and that glance made me move in my seat.  I was trying to remain calm and not like that horny teenager I was before around him but it wasn’t working.  He smiled and winked at me.  I was done.  That’s all it took.  And he knew it.

He walked back to the booth and I stood up and grabbed for my jacket and as I did he leaned down to get it for me and our bodies touched.  Again, that spark.  I let him take my jacket and hold it for me to put on.  When he adjusted the shoulders for me his hands staid on my arms and slid down them and I nearly lost my balance.  I cannot believe how he was effecting me and I wondered if I was doing the same to him?  I turned to face him and he stood there, statue still, looking down at me in my ballerina pink jacket and my worn in black converses still wet from the rain and he put his hand up and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and I shuttered from his touch.  I swallowed hard and my mouth opened as I licked my lips.  He tipped my chin up to him and leaned down and kissed me.  Slowly, softly and I fell through time right there in that diner.  He stopped abruptly and said “We should go.” and I agreed blinking hard and catching my breath.  He grabbed his jacket in one hand and took mine in the other.  “Where are we going?” I asked.  “Your place.” he answered looking at me as if to reassure me that it was alright.  I struggled with that thought for a moment.  The morality of it and the quickness and with someone who was a stranger but so familiar.  I don’t think I could say no to him.  I know I couldn’t because soon enough he was at my door step as I got there right before him and I let him in.

The rain had started again and he was wet from running from his car to the house.  As he came in he took of his jacket and tossed it on a chair and kept eye contact with me.  He was standing in my house right in front of me and I could barely stand away from him.  He brushed his hands through his wet hair combing it back with his fingers.  Those perfect hands and long fingers that looked manicured and safe.  There was a droplet running down his face and I wanted to lick it just like that water from the beer can that dropped on his stomach.  He came to me as I came to him.  We met with electricity.  His mouth on mine in an instant.  I could taste him. It was a frenzy of kisses.  I tired to slow myself but I was not in control at all.  He was. He was fully in control and I liked it.  His lips making a sensual massacre out of mine.  He nibbled at my bottom lip sucking into his mouth and I grabbed at him.  Pawing at him almost.  I was soon pinned against the wall in my entryway right by the front door.

Every inch of my body was aching for him.  I needed him.  We had unfinished business and it was time to finish it.  I tugged his shirt off and let it drop on the floor.  His body was still fit and trim.  His muscles moving as he did and I moved from his lips to his neck and down his chest.  He smelled so clean and his skin was warm and tasted fresh.  He pulled my face up gently with his hands cupping my cheeks kissing me.  He stopped and pulled my shirt off over my head as well.  He smiled and looked at me in appreciation.  I tried not to blush and bit my lip as he looked at me and took me to the couch.  We kind of giggled as he sat and patted his lap.  How could he remember that?  He smiled up at me as I stood and he sat right in front of me.  He licked his lips and pulled me by both of my hands and I was seated on him facing him.  Time and experience were both on our side tonight and this man was going to make a long lasting wonder what could have happened come true.  Soon enough we would not be interrupted this time and no odd teenage remorse for the adult act that was about to take place. He had aged so well and my shy ways had grown into a sultry woman who knew what she wanted and what I wanted was him.  He was a perfect pleasure fit even after all these years. I felt completely awakened, aroused and appreciated by this man.  This organic, physical and profanely passionate man that has taken me from my youthful thoughts to a sweltering incandescent reality in a matter of moments.  Hedonistic and spiritual.  Wicked and celestial all at the same time.  He was like kryptonite and I was fine with a slow tortious death at his hands. It was an immaculate, ambrosial transcendent experience that will stay with me eternally.

 

Where do  you go when you need to get away?  I run around in my head down to the ocean through some sandy greenery to the shore where the sand sinks beneath my feet as the tide washes it away while my hair whips about in the brine filled breezes.  I can taste the salt on my lips and the feel the sun warm my skin.  Ahhhh yes, that’s nice.  And perhaps while I am there I catch the eye of a man walking towards me.  Tall and fit, his bare feet cutting through the water as he walks.  His eyes nearly blend with the ocean itself as they are just as blue and just as deep.  His hair styled back away from his face looking freshly cut as the waves softly lay upon his head much like the sea itself right now, calm and steady. His lips pink and turn into a smile as he see’s me and the air around me thickens and electrifies.  My breath deepens and my eyes blink hard as to adjust to this devastatingly handsome man that is coming for me.  His looks are royal and his temperament sinfully hungry.  He is heavenly.

That’s how he enters my thoughts and then I lead him to a seaside villa after he’s taken my hand in his.  There’s no need for conversation other than to hear him speak.  To say my name over and over again like it was written by some sublime master poet and he’s taken the book and opened it and read it verse by verse to me.  As he smiles and revels in my name he repeats it softly as he tightens his fingers around my hand as to show his want for me. His voice is like audio sex.  Each word and syllable dripping like honey from his tongue.  And I am there to lap every bit of it up.  His accent so slow, smooth, inviting and luscious.  I can barely stand to hear him speak with out my body becoming a parched and sultry mess right in front of him.  How can I keep my composure when his words flow like they do?  His cadence, his iambic pentameter all beyond on point.  They are on fire.  A sweet sweltering fire that burns from his mouth directly to my groin.

My stomach drops and my heart races.  I swallow hard and let my eyes blink longingly as he speaks.  His quotations and his pauses to watch me writhe in a torrid incandescent fever as he tells me to lay down.  I obey and lay with him while he continues his tongued torture by reading me heartfelt lays and erotic rhymes from the books of his choosing. My mouth open and sounds coming out because I have lost all control of myself and he’s fully to blame. I am burning for him.

He stands and removes his shirt and I am witness to his stunningly worked out body.  His muscles move as he tosses the shirt to the side and then unbuttons his rolled up ocean soaked cuffed jeans and slides them off and steps out of them and joins me again on the bed. His hands are soft against me and his lips smiling and ready.  He’s fully ready with intention and his insatiable appetite is on display and I have never been more hungry and thirsty for a man in all of my life.  I am starving.  Starving for him.  He dips his head down  just touching his forehead to mine moving as close to me as he can and our lips touch as do our bodies.  I ignite.  His kiss sets me ablaze and everything erases from reality except him. All I can feel is him.  His body pressed next to mine.  His lips feasting on me. He’s kissing my lips, my cheeks, my neck, my ears and back to my lips.  I swallow his grunts and groans as he consumes my whimpers and moans.  We are both lost in the sheer craving of voraciously feeding on one another’s wantonness.  The primal softness of a wolf taking down his prey as he fully appreciates me in every single way he can with his mouth.

I am weak from the feast but my appetite is strong and I am greedy for him.  More, I say, More.  He laughs and I shutter at his humor and his movement with me.  Taking no time I am where he wants me and he slows himself.  Taking a moment from the animalism of such kissing to hold still before we continue.  A tiny time out to relish in one another.  Our eyes searching one another’s for ideas and acceptance and also holding tight and firm against one another as to never let go of such glorious feelings of lust and carnality.  Instincts reset and it’s time in and the ravenous passion ensues yet again.  A skin to skin pursuit of manic rapture leaving nothing but two shivering, quivering, limp, weakened and wearied bodies debilitated by physical, sensuous bodily pleasure.  Breathless and collapsed we rest intertwined with one another glowing and basking in the aftermath of my imagination.

 

 

Hazel eyed confectionary day dreams infused with lost highway thoughts covered by rose colored glasses to block the sunshine through the windshield of my musically driven soul.

Sugarplum sweet illusions rest against my worried mind to take me away from it all.  A step outside of my reality into the marmalade world that is my imagination.

Exotic allurement that stems from days or unrest and a strong curiosity that has not killed this cat but made it purr with granulated purple hazed sunrises as the morning pours into my room while I awake from my slumber ready to face the day and find solace in those whipped cream figments from just a mere conversation.

Cinnamon chills from the thoughts that parade around my head play catalyst to the memories and the desires of the unknown that seem so demanding, so dominant and necessary.

My candy coated fantasies lay sticky like confetti lotion against my body.  Praline, peppermint or jawbreaker, you take your pick.  Dessert before dinner is what I say.  Have the sweet when you want it and savor every single tingling lasting like a bruise bite.

The master’s musing  are greedy and goody goody gumdroped as strawberry field’s forever plays in the back ground with whips of black licorice and candied cravings abundant and steady sugar coated saccharin satisfaction guaranteed.

Wild yellow sunshine dips into the waves of night as the star shine floats like frosting across the sky and my mind calms with rest.  I hope for the day dreams to turn to night dreams that can freeze and firm the gelatin thoughts that have been ravenously chewed on all day.

Eager to please and ready to will parched from the candy coated pastry thoughts that have been my beautiful distraction of the day.  So I will take that moonlight drive and get lost again on that highway of my mind.

 

How dare he?  How dare he look at me like this?  So sensual, so thoughtless and full of thought at the same time.  He’s reckless and hungry and I want to feed him.  His mind is lost.  Completely somewhere else.  Yet the moment he see’s me I can feel him.  His eyes all over me.  Touching me with his glances and his soft smiles accompanied by reminiscent moments stolen here and there.  Times of full blown passion leading to pain and heartache upon leaving one another’s grip.  Because that’s what it is.  He has a hold of me like no one ever has.  He’s become my vice and he knows it.  He’s tragically flawed with the negative ability to show emotion to me and only me.  He cannot do it.  He is sworn to a different life than mine.  Though we are more than compatible he is incapable of true love.  His heart lies with another yet he lies in body with me.  He’s told me no one has ever turned him on the way I do.  With my words, my imagination, my lips, my thoughts and my deeds have created a need with in him that only I can fulfill but it’s lost to the wolves of the daily shame and drudgery that we call life.  As unfortunate as it is, it is in fact the truth.

His kisses have left me drained and thirsty.  Craving him.  Wanting him like no other.  I awoke with him.  He activated me.  Grasping at happiness in a cruel world is what we were both doing and we found it physically and mentally.  The need, the shear need was met.  It was felt through  every avenue, every direction under the same moon and stars even when we weren’t together.  From spoken words to written thoughts, it was met.  From touches and looks across the room, it was met.  From a simple hand on my thigh it was met.  His touch left my skin incinerated.  He set me ablaze just by looking at me, like he is right now.  He knows what he does to me.  He knows how I feel about him and he uses it.  And I don’t care because I want him.  I want those scalding lips on mine.  I want those day dreaming eyes to ignite me as he walks to me as he stops just before me and looks at me like he may never see me again and his hands cup my cheeks and I feel the blood rushing though me as my heart pumps it so quickly.  I am parched for him as he leans in to kiss me.  His breath is warm against me, his body smolders in front of me and I can’t take it.  I push up to him and our lips me.  I am cauterized at that moment.  My wounds that were open and bleeding for him are healing with his touch and his kiss.  Oh those lips.  Those devilishly, divine, delicious lips.  Never have I tasted anything so honeyed.  So gentle and savage at the same time.  Our passion was more than intense, it was enraged.

And there he sits looking at me like this.  His hand in front of his mouth like that as if he were sucking it with those same furiously fierce lips that have taken me down against my will.  That look.  That look I have seen and responded to even when I tried my hardest not to.  Oh he knows.  He knows exactly what he’s doing and he likes it.  I swear he gets off on it.  Just to know he can unravel me like he does.  Why else would he do it?  Staring at me so provocatively provoking an animalistic response inside of me that I cannot ignore.  My body feels like its had a match set to it.  He has seduced me with his eyes.  A look so suggestive that it’s only purpose is for an invitation.  Come hither doesn’t even come close to it.  He has already undressed me, kissed me from head to toe and stopped in a few certain places and enjoyed them all with that look.  He means business with that look.  And he knows, I will deliver on my end as well.  We were meant for this.  The back and forth, the word play and the fore play.  The actual theatrical part of it too.  From the dramatics or the watching from the box seats.  It all depends on where you want to see it from.  And right now, I see it from the fire lit by just one look.

 

 

Just take me away.

Away from it all.  The objectivity of the day’s tasks and the anxious moods that steal my rest from me.  Calm my river wild thoughts. Soothe the aches that have settled in my  muscles and bring me back to life.  Awaken my pain stricken soul with your touch.  Lick my wounds and comfort my body.  Take the wheel for me and guide me on a moonlight drive through the night filled with star shine and whispered promises.  Play my favorite songs on repeat while you slowly and gently lull me to the rhythm.

Rock me baby.  Rock me all night long.

Give me dirty blues with jazzy riffs and raw lyrics to give my skin a shock and blanket me with goosebumps.  Let my head tilt back as the words sung like honey slide up my spine and make my body sway.  Back and forth to the beat I go and try to get lost along the way.  Candy coated melodies played as a soundtrack while sugar fills my bowl and melts on my tongue to relax my mind. Day drinking the disco lemonade and sucking on the lithium lollipops to chemically balance my turbulent brain while I try a little tenderness against my holographic body.  Chocolate covered toxic tainted love songs blaring like an echo in the corridors of my comfortably numb psyche next to the funk downtown of the mothership connection with a side of 24 karat magic.

Give me folk, fusion, ragtime or rap, rock n roll, swing, acoustic or pop, just be sure you give it me hard and give it to me turned up!!

Time for the hips to roll, my hands to find my  hair and my mouth to smile and ultimately LET GO.  #leaveitonthedancefloor and escape the real world one booming beat at a time.  One lonely lusty lyric at a time.  A vivid, vibrating vacation brought to me by my speakers and my imagination set to the back drop of these four walls.  Alive she cried and gave an atomic rebel yell over the valley of the darkness of my dwellings to the paradise city just over Highway 61.