I’ve been so lost lately. So down. More down than usual which is like your average amount of depression but it seems to have kicked it up a notch the past few months. So when I got invited to this party I wasn’t sure I should make the effort. It wasn’t until I saw who the chef was that I wanted to attend. Then my attention was drawn. My curiosity peaked. Maybe that’s what would pull me out of this slump. Him. Not saying he would even notice me or even if he did have any desire to even talk to me let alone be the slump fixer but at his point, fuck it, I’m going. He was known around town for his asshole, not care attitude. I even heard he punched a guy once. But there was something about him. I can’t explain it but when I went to his restaurant with one of my girlfriends, I met him and his aurora was electrifying. Static just seemed to come from him and I couldn’t help myself when I shook his hand after our introduction, I felt it. That charge. That zing. That something. Not a clue if he felt it on his end but my thighs sure did on mine.

I went to his restaurant a handful of times and not too much more interaction was had but that’s not what did it. It was the reaction that I was about. The reaction of my body when he was around me. His hand shake was nothing compared to the one time, the single time, he hugged me after a dinner hosted by the same girlfriend I went out with before. They were friends. He hugged everyone at the table so it wasn’t like a personal thing between us but I mean it was like pressure, a tension, a warmness that was felt from him to me. Or maybe, just me. None the less, it stuck with me and I wanted more, if more was an option. I sure as hell wanted to find out. So, I sent my email response and within seconds I got a bounce back email thanking me for the acceptance. I didn’t finish reading it before I tossed my phone on my bed and was just about to run a bath when my email notification sounded again. I picked up the phone and opened it. Holy Shit! It was him. He must be in the loop of the emails. I almost ducked thinking he could see me reading it or something. It simply said “Looking forward to seeing you”. I didn’t put much into it as maybe that was also a programed response or one he just sent to personally address all potential guests. So I responded with “Yeah, me too”. Immediately he responded with “That’s it, that’s all I get?” Befuddled I responded with “What else do you want?” And the answer stunned me and excited me. He said “More” and that was it, that’s all it took. My breath hitched. My mouth dried and my body reacted. I was covered in heat and that was just an email. Jesus. How would I be actually around him? I emailed him back carefully with “I’ll bring more with me……”. Instantly he responded with “Good, I’ll take it”. I was running my bath sitting on the toilet with the lid down smiling. I was thinking I may never get out as I knew where my mind was and I definitely needed a moment to possibly tend to myself after that small interaction. It wasn’t even in person and the reaction was intense. Damn it. I’m fucked.

It’s the night of the party and I’m a little nervous about bringing the “more” tonight. So maybe the new outfit will help. I chose a high collared white with black polka dots sheer button up ruffle short sleeved shirt. Pairing it with dark blue jeans and deep red matte lips with red Converse. My hair in waves and my nails red too. Underneath, a black lace bra and matching lace panties. It helps to feel a little sexy with the underwear. It’s like a secret kept and perhaps if discovered might add some enticement. Spritzing my wrists before I head out with perfume and a final pucker of my lips in the mirror and my car is pulling up on the app opened on my phone. No turning back now. More is on her way!

I arrive at the hosts house and it’s apparent that my league isn’t the same as theirs but here I am, heading in. I am pointed in the direction of the kitchen and dinning area. People are mingling about with glasses of champagne and rocks glasses filled with clear or amber liquid. Lots of bullshit chit chat going on as I pass through looking for him. I mean let’s be real here, that’s the only reason I accepted the invitation. I wave and smile and nod my way past the ladies and gentlemen that have no interest in me at all except the host, I know she and her husband. I hug and take a glass from the tray in her hand as I greet them. Some signature cocktail for the evening and I take a large sip of courage as I scan the room looking towards the kitchen. I nudge her and ask if he’s in there and she smiles and giggles and says yes and tugs my free hand and off we go to the kitchen. I finish the drink on the way and soon enough we’re standing in her large magazine perfect kitchen and there he is with his staff cooking away. She hollers over the bustling, announcing me and as he turns to see me, I am absolutely frozen.

His dark locks under a backwards hat, blue shirt buttoned up under his apron and dark jeans with boots tucked under the denim. I scan him from top to bottom as he does the same to me. But his look is different than mine. Mine was curious. His was hungry. He grabs a towel and cleaning off his hands as he makes his way towards me. The space between us shortens and the closer he gets I realize how tall he is. How large his presence is. And there it goes. My reaction to him. My body begins to sizzle a bit. Tingles and prickles on my skin as he approaches me. It goes from tepid to scorching as soon as he smiles and reaches for my hand to shake it. His hands are big. He puts his out and I revel in its size. Mine disappears in it. I feel his thermal touch like a conduction right to my groin. I take his handshake and hold too long but he doesn’t seem to mind as my head spins and my mind swirls with inappropriate thoughts about those big hands. It’s like he senses it and lets out a laugh. I respond with a bit of a giggle and let go of his hand and mine’s immediately cooled without his. I couldn’t tell you what we talked about with the host for a moment because I was completely fixated on his mouth barely hidden under his scruff. He knew where I was staring and responded with an extra lick of his lips and I swallowed hard. I think the conversation was about the menu but at this point I would be lucky if I can eat in his company. I just remember something about meat was said and trying not choke when he said it. It wasn’t because he said meat, it was how he said it that made me wanton. It was sweltering in that kitchen and too soon I was being pulled out with the rest of the guests as he said he needed to get back to work. Right before I left, he leaned down and placed a very soft, breath filled word on my neck with a half hug saying “More” as my arms went around him to embrace him back. I shivered and melted at the same time as he did that. Pulled apart from him, I was guided out but, my eyes stayed on him and his on mine until I was out of his sight.

My friend showed me around the rest of their new digs and I was pretty impressed with the size of it all. I mean there was a spa area for fuck’s sake with an in ground jacuzzi tub, sauna and massage area. It had such a retro vibe to it all and I was really liking it all. I was actually enjoying myself. I mean the two more drinks did aide in my social lubrication and my constant flow of those inappropriate thoughts as my eyes danced around towards the kitchen. Soon enough dinner was served and we were all seated. She insisted he join us for the dinner so off the apron and the hat came as the applause from everyone echoed in the dining room when he sat down. His staff brought more and more dishes until everyone including him had food on their plates. It was absolutely delicious. And not just his food, his heavy eye contact from down the table was more appetizing than the actual food itself. I adjusted my seat more than once as I caught his gaze with several bites looking up at me like the food in his mouth wasn’t food, it was me. Just after dessert, I excused myself to the restroom only to be jump scared as I came out and he was leaning on the wall right outside. His body long and lean yet bulky. I went to move around him to let him in and he crowded my space and when he did somehow we switched places and my back was against the wall. His arm up and his hand on the wall next to me trapping me from moving down the short hallway. I looked up at him with intention and he down at me with the same look. My body flushing with lust and him again somehow knowing this, he dipped his head and looked me up and down running his thumb along his lip and saying “You definitely brought the more, thank you”. I said you’re welcome and sucked in my bottom lip as I did. He inched closer. I could feel the temperature change and his breath smelled of wine as he spoke again, “I’m gonna need a smoke and to cool off after this” and as his last word slipped off his tongue he dove for my mouth with his. Urgently we kissed. Hard and intrusive he pressed me against the wall. Sounds sneaking out of my mouth as he swallowed them up, covered by the distant chatter and laughter of the remaining guests. A loud sound from the kitchen halted his continuance. Our breathing heavy and my body angry he stopped. He looked down the hall and then back at me. His hands cupping my cheeks and with one last kiss and left me with the weight of him still on me as he went to investigate the sound. I straightened myself up and walked back out to the hall mirror and checked my lipstick and hair. Wow. That just happened.

I took a seat next to my friend, as more liquor was poured and the guests lessened it was soon late into the evening and he’d joined the group that was left. I was drinking sparkling water to keep my wits about myself and the eye fucking that was happening was nearly as intense as that kiss had been. The last few people were dancing and singing and took it out onto their giant patio. As they made their way out I was following along with him. We were all outside now on the patio. Music playing and soon after it began to rain. We couldn’t believe it. We all ducked under the overhang laughing and without warning he grabbed my hand and pulled me back into the house. He snuck me down the hallway towards the spa room. I didn’t even hesitate when we wound up in there and he shut the door and locked it. When he turned he had a cigarette in his mouth. I was looking around and as I did he started the water in the tub. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I’m gonna get in, warm up and smoke this cigarette”. He sat down on a chair, his clothes stuck to him from the rain. His smile wasn’t just a smile but a grin. A grin with meaning. There was more to being in there than just what it was and he knew I knew that. He was taking off his boots and socks and when I neared him, he stood. Those hands took a hold of me and pulled me to his lap as he sat again. It felt comfortable and effortless to straddle him. No panic. No fear. Just us. I smoothed back his wet hair and as I did I leaned in to run my tongue along the wet skin around his ear and down his neck. His breath hissed through his teeth and he tightened beneath me. His hands on my backside moving me closer, he stood holding me and turns me around and sits me on the chair. He goes over to the tub, turns off the water and steps in, clothes and all. He sits as I laugh with matches from his shirt pocket he lights the cigarette, inhales deeply and waves me over to him. Again with the grin and again knowing I would. I stroll over towards him and stop right at the edge. He’s looking up at me and says “well, get in”. I study him as I play with the buttons on my shirt. He takes another drag and puts his arms at rest on the floor around the tub as if to say go for it girl, take it off for me.

Button by button I go and soon enough I slip the sheer soaked shirt off and let it plop on the floor. Standing in my bra, jeans and red Converse I begin to shiver a bit. I kick off my shoes and start for the button on my pants when he sits up and puts the cigarette in his mouth, takes one more drag and puts it out in small puddle of water and proceeds lean towards me and helps me pull the wet denim down. His hands making their way up and down my legs once they are bare and tugging me to the warm water. I slip in and again I’m on top of him where his mouth had found it’s way to my neck. I pull at his blue shirt and then at his white undershirt. I want to feel him against me skin to skin. He strips them off tossing them in a pile next to mine. Our clothes shedding as were our inhibitions. His hands all over my body as my head tips back as his voice vibrates along my skin with the words of what he wants to do to me. Trembling with desire I feel him undo my bra and drop his head to my breasts. Circling with his tongue on me as everything inside resonates and I can feel him throbbing under me as my hips move with want. Everything within me is pulsing. His kisses deepen and his hands push me forward as they slide down and pull the lace panties off. He tells me to sit up on the edge and as I do, his head is immediately between my thighs. He didn’t even wait until I was fully situated. I call out as my body is shocked with the coolness and his mouth on me so quickly. Licking and sucking my slit I’m quivering and shuttering inside and out. My body reacting how it should to him. “Do you like this?” he asks as his fingers slip around my entrance. “Yes, please, yes” I say as he enters me with one then two fingers. I can’t take much more as everything begins to build and pulse. He looks up and as his eyes meet mine my head flings back and the explosion ensues. He takes it all as I shake and the obscenities fall from my mouth in shouts and muffled screams as I covered them with my hand.

He quickly stands and rids himself of his pants and takes his length in his hand. His length full, even in those big hands of his. And with a few easy movements, he’s inside me, pushing all the way in with profanities as he does. Driving harder and deeper with each thrust of his wet hips against mine, I feel like I could black out in ecstasy. He fills me completely and with torridity. My hands griping the skin of his back as he pumps feverously. Primal and needing. The momentum is bringing me to the edge again and he senses it. He kisses my neck and shoulder and lands a bite right near my collar bone. I shriek as the sting surges through me. It’s piling up quickly. The passion is coming on so hard and as he growls in my ear, I let go. I pull him as close to me as I can as he continues to ride through my convulsions right into his own cursing release. He lays on top of me. My legs shaking along with the rest of my sin filled body. Flaunting it I say into his ear “More baby, I brought you more”. He laughed as he pulled out and away from me slinking back into the now lukewarm water. I sat up looking around for the towels I saw rolled up along the wall on a shelf. Naked and wasted I walked to get one and wrapped up in it and handed him one as he stood naked in front of me. He was all man and all animal in one. His eyes darkened as he stepped towards me now with the towel around his waist kissing me in the after glow. Dinner was over but there in that room another feast happened and I was indeed the main course, the meat if you will, and from the leftover feelings, I couldn’t wait for “More”.