Most of my life I was the weirdo.  The odd one.  The black sheep.  Whatever you want to call it, that was me.  I never really fit in anywhere.  I didn’t participate much in sports or extra circular activities in school.  It wasn’t my thing. I wrote poetry and read comics and classic literature.  I wasn’t much of a socialite. I wasn’t popular but I wasn’t a complete outcast either.  I was just me.  So you could imagine when I went to college and graduated and began my career, I wasn’t much of a joiner then either.  I was lucky and landed the perfect position at a prestigious advertising firm in the city.  I got great deal on brownstone walk up as the person died in it and no one wanted to buy it.  It didn’t bother me hell, I hoped they haunted me!  So basically my weirdo ass had it made but I was lonely.  I was.  And I hated to admit it because if I were to truly admit that, then I would have to do something about it.


And that, I missed that a lot.  I hadn’t dated much because I was serious girl.  I got feelings and shit always went bad and I’d go back to my boring existence of solo shadow play by myself and tea on Fridays comforted by classic horror movies and Creepshow reruns on late because I don’t sleep well, I never have, even with a vibrator.

My coworkers insisted I go to some new club opening downtown.  They said I would really dig it.  I inquired more but they said it was a surprise so I came to work with a little deeper red lipstick on that day and black corduroy converse instead of my normal canvas ones.  That was dressing up to me.  Classic blue jeans with a white t-shirt and a black lace bra because why not and a dark green ring master style jacket was my outfit.   I thought it looked pretty damn good and so did the girls I was going with. There were a couple guys too.  We piled in a car after a quick bite and a few drinks for them. I’m not a drinker.

We arrived to the club.  We got out and headed to a stairway the lead down to the entrance.  So far, I was digging it.  We were greeted by a large man at the door and as we walked in there seemed to be a very circus like vibe. Lots of people and a couple bars and music with different rooms with arrow signs for each. It reminded me of a porn store where you can go back to the peep shows and jerk off booths.  I was kinda stunned at how classy yet naughty this place was.  It wasn’t a sex club but it was close.  There were lots of lounge areas too.  With velvet booths and pillows.  I was in love with the décor and the truly disturbing vibe I got form it all.  Whips and chains and floggers and riding crops hanging around for use as men and women dressed the part walked around for looks.  Back lit go go dancers were in the corners and cages where half naked men looked down at you and smiled.  Glittered girls with pink lips sold shots behind the bars and there were a lot of wigs and martinis.  I loved it here but I needed some air.  I asked one of the girls and she pointed to the stair way sign that said “Up for fun” and I walked that way.  It went up a flight of stairs to a door.  I opened it and there was a set of elevators. I asked the man standing there where I could catch my breath and he pointed to the left one.  He said I could take it to the roof, so I did.  There were a couple other people including my coworker and I that hopped on.  We all got out and walked out a door to the roof.  I sucked in the sunset city soaked air and as I did I turned around and was hit with a beautiful punch to the gut when I saw him.

Holy fuck.  Look at him.  Laying on the edge like that.  Lost in his own thoughts as the humans from the club bustled around like pigeons on that roof.  Holding their drinks and their breath as they looked over the edge and there he laid so stoic and stunning.  My God.  I had to swallow to remind myself I was alive.  I was in sexual shock by his good looks.  His hair perfectly a mess and his skin so fair against the sinking sun behind the city scape.  His lips formed by Aphrodite herself because no one of this world could have designed them otherwise.  He was extraterrestrial.  He had a sad but sensual look about him.  I wondered what his gaze was stuck upon as I lined his body with my tongue in my mind.  I was instantly aroused. I hadn’t felt that in so long. My face warm and it wasn’t the air.  It was cool but I was sweating.  His fingers long and his legs too. I wondered what he tasted like and I couldn’t look away.  I felt drawn to him like a pathetic moth to the flame knowing I would get burned from it but God I bet it would feel good. I bet he felt good too. Oh my, I was shaking.

He turned to look my way and I wanted to sink in the whatever was behind me but there was nothing to save me.  He smiled at me and I wanted to faint. Me, he was looking me.  Fuck, he was getting up.  He rolled off the edge and fixed his shirt that had ridden up some showing the side of his abdomen and I again had to swallow hoping my saliva wasn’t running out of my mouth.  He was exactly that, mouth watering.

His hands in his hair and then in his pockets as he walked to me.  I grabbed for my coworker as she was staring just as bad as I was.  He giggled and bit his lip as he stood in front of me.  He introduced himself and said he liked my jacket and touched the fringe on the shoulder.  I thanked him and told him my name and reached to shake his hand.  He accepted my hand then pulled it to his mouth to kiss the top of it.  My coworker laughed and he glared at her.  She immediately stopped and looked away and walked over to some other people.  I was smiling and he leaned in and softly said to the skin of my ear “So, do you want to go back in with me?”  Shivers shook my body when he did that.  I nodded and said yes.  I didn’t even care about my coworker.  I just kept my hand in his and we went to the door and got on the elevator.  It was just us in there.  He was leaning on the wall staring at me and I was at him.  He smelled like sunshine and moonlight sprayed on his clothes mixed with sandalwood and sex.  He took a step closer to me and the elevator came to stop.  The doors opened and he took my hand and we walked into the club.  He tugged me to the hallway and we followed it to a room.  It was one of peep rooms or so I called it.  We were the only ones in there and yes there was a little show going on behind the glass.  It wasn’t pornographic but it was sexy.  She was dancing and half dressed.  The music and the mood was intoxicating.  He was intoxicating.  There was a place to sit and a table for drinks in there.  The walls soft with paisley cloth wallpaper and the décor was the same in there as out in the club.  He sat and I sat next to him.  I was hot and took off my jacket.  His eyes never left me.  He was watching my every  move with precision. We were talking.  The everyday chit chat shit you do when you’re getting to know another person and without warning he said “I like your black bra, did you do that on purpose?”.  What the hell?  “I might have” I answered.  Smiling he responded “It worked, I noticed”. His smile was like a fucking razor cutting cocaine that you didn’t even have to snort to get high. It worked just by him flashing those pearly whites right at me.  Again, I swallowed hard and when I did he watched my throat and moved closer. “Do that again” he said. And I did, I swallowed harder this time and licked my lips after I did it.  He leaned in and placed one small kiss on my neck. I couldn’t breathe.  I couldn’t move.  I was anxiously frozen.  His hands making way up my back and I arched into them as he did.  A sound escaped my mouth as he continued with his lips on my neck.  The sound was of sensual delight.  He moaned against my skin and my body lifted as he did.  I couldn’t help it.  I was just reacting to him and this unbelievable situation.  He could be some cold blooded killer that I just followed into a peep show room but goddamn, what a way to go.

I flung my arms around him and pulled him down as his head came up by my mouth. Our lips crashing against one another.  His tongue forcing entry and  I let him in, deeply.  The weight of his body on mine felt good.  Beyond good.  I moved my legs under him and made room for him as I spread them open.  He pushed himself up and we matched our groans as he did.  My hands in those dark locks pulling and tugging.  A slight bite from his teeth on my lower lip lead me to believe he wanted me to tug harder so I did. Yes, that’s what he wanted.  God I was drowning in him.  Letting myself go under with him.  Soaked in him as he kept moving.  My hips meeting his rhythm.  His hands searching over the fabric of my white shirt.  Yes, do that. Feel me.  My body reacting and hardening to his touch.  He shoves it up and pulls the lace down, freeing me as he dives for my bare flesh. My head back and the sounds fill the room as the excitement builds.

Buttons and zippers make way with our fumbling fingers and I am so glad I wore the matching panties for once and not my lame pink cotton ones.  He smiles at the lace and says “You’re a naughty girl with these” and I giggle.  Clothes pile up and bodies beautiful glimmer in the dim light.  Show me more.  Give me more.  Harder.  That’s what this place is all about. The extra life.  The don’t talk about life. The secrets brought to you by the dark corners of your mind life.  But not in here. Here it’s ok because he pulls the riding crop off the wall and smacks my thigh with it and like it.  He smiles at me half dressed and asks politely “again?” and I nod yes as he raises his hand and brings the crop down again the sting shoots up my skin and warms my instantly.  This man with his godly good looks and undeniable charm took me into this room with one thing in mind and that thing is happening.  He’s a stranger to me and I am to him and I can’t even care about that right now as he’s stepping out of his trousers and running that leather along my stomach and flicking me with it.  He runs it all the way up to my lips. I stick out my tongue and lick it and he closes his eyes in pleasure because I did that.  He drops it and is back he started, kissing me and pushing himself up between my legs.  I move to give him better entry.  A hiss escapes his mouth as we both escape our reality with this in real life played out fantasy.  We are letting it happen. I am letting him do this to me because I want to. Because when I saw him on that roof top tonight something took over me. Evil or demons or angels or fairies or perhaps my common sense was abducted at that moment but his eyes met mine and it was on.  I was going to have him and have him I do. His body moving and mine under him to feel it.  Every single stroke, every single thrust I feel it.  It’s divine.  So delicious. So good but oh so bad.  I never thought I would do something so wild and reckless but here I am in a secret room letting him do what he wants to me and I like it.  Oh I like it.  Maybe that type of girl was always in me and now with him in me, I realize it.  My arms gripping and grasping and pulling at him as he continues.  He’s not stopping until he’s done.  Until I’m done, again and again and again.  And in that moment, that finish line paper tape break, we both break, together. Our loudness covered by the club bass heavy music and discounted by the depraved minds that are on the other side of that door.  Sedated, we lay there.  Him catching his breath and me too as I am wasted from the primal act that just happened.  His forehead kiss  leaves me swooning  and the depth of the final kiss before he slides out leaves me wanting more.  I want to dive inside his mind and hold onto his heart as his eye contact is still so heavy as he dresses and helps me with my clothes.  This was a full blown hurricane connection.  There is no running from it.  It’s there.  It’s alive in the room.  We just gave birth to it or better yet, it gave birth to us.  My life so lost and tedious with time spent washing away night after night and now there’s not just a spark but a pure electrification that has awoken my very soul.  He did that the second he saw me. Did he abduct me with lust? Was I drunk with and from the debauchery in this place?  Perhaps. But no matter now because I am forever his stranger to feast upon, his own personal extra curricular activity.

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