The rain came early that day as I woke to the sounds of the drops peppering the roof and windows. The days had been so low and seemed to be blending together just one right after the other. I was craving a release from my reality so I decided to hit up my favorite book store after work and let my mind wander as I strolled the isles for something to catch my eye. I was a frequent customer of this little shop tucked away downtown and I loved to get lost in the basement with the classics and poets who’s words wooed me no matter how many times I have read their heartfelt lays.
The door jingled with the bell as I stepped inside and shook the rain off of my coat and out of my hair and I was greeted with a hello from behind the counter and it was a familiar face. A younger face. A beautiful face with a smile that could set a dark room alight. His dark hair was tucked under a hat and his sweatshirt hood hung out from under his jacket and his hands were shoved in his jean pockets as he watched me walk in from the rain soaked city streets. He was home from college on fall break. I had gotten to know him over the summer as he came in from time to time to help his uncle run the store. He was an excellent book stacker and we spent a few late nights after work stowed away in the stacks laughing and reading and enjoying some time together. We even exchanged texts when he was away at school. I hadn’t seen him in a few months and I was surprised to see him. He looked different to me. Perhaps it was just the time apart but he seemed older-ish. I was quite a bit older than him so maybe it was me just appreciating his youth but he looked so beautiful standing in the light the shown down from the lamp above him. He looked angelic almost and the devil on my shoulder was screaming in my ear how fucking hot he looked and I had to close my eyes and swallow hard as I walked over to him and said hello back as he reached to hug me. His arms enveloped me and I breathed him in as I embraced him back. I apologized about my wet hair and he smiled and tucked a lose strand behind my ear and said I still looked good even wet. I tried to play it off as nothing while we walked in unison towards the stairs to go down to the basement, as that’s what we always did together. It was weird. I felt a zing of electricity from him that seemed to have amplified since those nights we spent after hours together. There was no way he could be interested in me. And I shouldn’t be interested in him as he is so much younger but our interests and our personalities gel so well it’s hard not to look at it through romantic lenses. And he was so so sexy. And he had no clue either. It is not apparent to him just how attractive he is which makes me want him even more.
The way he talked and his laugh and that giant grin and his fit body, it was all too much. I had noticed as he stocked the shelves one night while I sat cross legged on the floor. I looked up and his t- shirt was pulled up as his arms were up and his stomach showed ever single abdominal muscle tight and toned just like his arms. His arms so long and lean under the tight white t-shirt. That was the same summer night he walked me to my taxi as it was raining and he was drenched in that t-shirt stuck to his toned body with his dark jeans sopping wet that just fell over his brown boots tucked under the denim. He was all wet standing there as I got into the back seat and told me to have a good night and I hugged him. Our wet bodies touching and that moment was tattooed in my imagination for my own personal use later that night. I blush at the memory of how he made me feel. The tingles and tantric vibes from him to me stored away in my brain for my alone time!
We talked about his classes and his apartment and how he was pretty much all settled in and we picked a spot near the last row of books and he offered me a seat on the floor next to him. I grabbed a book and dropped my stuff and took a seat. I opened the book and began to read it and I realized he was staring at me. “What, why are you looking at me like that?” I asked “Do you know you move to the rhythm of the poem when you read?” he answered me with a question of his own. “I guess it literally moves me when I read them.” I said. “Well, I like to watch you read, it’s kinda sexy actually” he responds. “Just kinda?” I question and giggle as I look up at him. His eyes changed immediately. They darkened. They went from a teenager to a man in a moment as he moved closer to me and whispered “It’s very sexy, just like you”. His words echoed in the emptiness and they dripped from his tongue like liquid fire and the heat from him was palpable. I leaned closer and our mouths were nearly touching as his hand ran up my arm to my shoulder and stopped at my neck. He softly pushed at me and I tilted my head to the side and he moved in and placed his lips on my neck. My body ignited. I was trying to catch my breath as the sounds escaped my lungs in a long “oh”. My hands were gripping the back of his jacket as he moved us both down and was soon directly over me on the floor. I was breathing so heavy and could barely comprehend where I was as his lips were tracing my neck from my collar bone to my ear as he sucked on my ear lobe and went back to kissing my neck. Our bodies moving as to get a better feel against one another. My legs spreading to make room for him. I could feel him pressing against me. His forearms next to me and his hands in my hair. My back arching to meet his rhythm and to get as close to him as I could. Our lips hadn’t even touched yet when we heard a familiar voice calling for him as his Uncle was still in the store. He quickly moved and pulled me up with him and we both began to laugh. We stood and walked to the stairs and as we started up I stopped and pulled him by fistfuls of his sweatshirt and turned him to the wall and shoved him against it and kissed him. No way was I leaving with out kissing him. He welcomed my mouth with a moan that slid from his lips to mine. I swallowed his sounds as the kiss grew harder as did his body against mine. So tight and tense. It was a mind blowing kiss that seemed to span all time and space. I stepped back and took a moment and looked up at him as he looked down at me smiling and I couldn’t help but shake my head. “Don’t do that” he said. I couldn’t help it as it registered to me how odd this was. I mean, the age difference. And why me? But the attraction was there. It was so much there that the room felt heavy and sticky with want. A need that must be met. It was undeniable
We walked up the stairs teasing one another as he walked to the counter in front of his Uncle’s office and told me about a gathering happening that night at his friends apartment showing some of her art and said I should come. He wrote the address down and I took the piece of paper and stuck it in my pocket and touched my lips with my hand and he watched me walk out the door. He quickly ran out and grabbed me and kissed me one more time and asked if I was coming and I said yes.
That evening I laid on my bed after a very long shower in my black lace bra and panties and debated on going. Why was I even doing this? This is ridiculous but I was going none the less. I wanted him and he wanted me and that needed to be rectified.
I slipped on my dress and zipped it up and slid my feet into my heels, sprayed my wrists and neck with perfume and did a last check in the mirror on my hair and make up and was ready. I had knots in my stomach and my body was in a fever wanting him. I was so worked up. It was a yearning I hadn’t felt in a very long time. I got to the apartment late on purpose as I didn’t want to seem to eager. I was greeted by a young lady in a beautiful cocktail dress with long red hair and perfect lips. I told her I was meeting him there and she told me he was in the parlor room on the couch as she pointed that way. She took my jacket and complimented my dress as I was in a deep purple fitted dress that zipped all the way up the back and landed just above the knee with black heels and black thigh highs underneath with the line up the back. I meant business with this ensemble and I think she knew it. My hair was done up and tucked behind one ear and my lips a deep burgundy matte. I was a siren and my song was calling him.
I turned the corner to the parlor and there he sat. He sat looking away from me in a baby blue/grey suit. I couldn’t quite tell the color but his shirt was a pink with white polka dot button up and for the love of all that was holy, he was bare foot. His hand up by his mouth as he was staring off the other direction. Oh that mouth. That beautiful mouth that mere hours ago was all over my neck working it and me into a frenzy of lust. He turned and saw me and immediately sat up. I started to walk towards him. His eyes dancing from my head to my feet. I take it he liked what he saw as he smiled and I could see his body react as he licked his lips and stood when I got closer. I told him to stay seated but he didn’t. Instead he leaned in and kissed my cheek as he placed both hands on my bare arms and his simple touch sent lighting throughout my entire body. I wanted nothing more than for him to close the doors to that room and take me on that couch right then and there. I wanted to shove him down, hike my dress up and straddle him and leave my lipstick all over his face. He must have sensed my feelings as he slipped his hand into mine and took me out of that room and politely introduced me to a few of his friends and lead me down a hallway telling the young lady he wanted me to see that one piece in the back room. She giggled and said sure and soon enough we were down the hall to what seemed like another dimension. How big was this apartment? The light was on in the room and there were some paintings on the wall and a few full length mirrors along another wall with a small love seat, chair and coffee table near a window towards the corner. I started to ask if the paintings were hers when I looked over and he was sitting on the love seat with his arms out as to offer himself to me. I walked over to him and stood directly in front of him. His hands went to my things and my arms around his head as he slid his hands up me and then back down and back up but under my dress this time while my fingers ran through his hair. He watched me watching him as if to ask if it was alright. It was more than alright as I placed my hands on his shoulders and stepped out of my heels and moved him back and straddled his lap. I was facing him and with mere inches between us I closed the gap as I slid forward and he moved upwards to meet me and it was a full body explosion as soon as our lips touched. It was and absolute torrential downpour of kisses. Sliding our tongues in and out as we moved. All hands all over each other. Sighing and moaning and groping and groaning we kept the tempo up. He was grabbing handfuls of my hair to pull my head back and run his lips all over my neck and chest. Leaving little nips and bites along the way as I was making working on the buttons of his shirt. I wanted to see him. I wanted his skin to touch my skin. I shoved it off of his shoulders and ran my hands down his chest and rippled abs. I leaned down and slid off of him and onto my knees and as I did I trailed burgundy kisses along his toned chest. Feeling his muscles twitching beneath my lips as I moved further down to his stomach while I undid his belt.
My mind and body were focused on one thing and one thing only, pleasing him. He made me feel alive and dangerous and I was going to introduce him to what an experienced woman could do. I soon stood and turned and asked him to unzip me and he graciously obliged. I let the dress fall to the floor and stood in front of him dressed for the purpose, the purpose of sensuality and sex. I am a woman and I know what I want and that makes me desirable and at that moment I wanted him. And when you’re my age, you get what you want because you know how to get it and you know how to give it and I was ready for both.