Lost and found

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It had been awhile since we’d talked.  He’d been busy with work and other things that weighed heavy on his mind.  He pulled back from me.  I don’t know why other than he had to.  Maybe it was too much for him?  Maybe he didn’t want me?  I don’t know but I tried to guess as I would sit alone and think about it.

I left it open to him to contact me.  I never wanted to hide anything from him.  We didn’t need to keep anything secret from one another. Our lives moved on and things happen, it’s all part of life as unfortunate as it can be.

I got a message from him finally and I couldn’t get to him fast enough.  As soon as I read the words, my blood rushed to my bitten lip and I threw my shoes on and hurried out the door.  It had finally warmed up enough in the city that I didn’t need a coat or a jacket so I was outside hustling down the street to catch a cab to his place in my jeans and t-shirt.  I took about five minutes to brush my hair and teeth and swipe my makeup brush over my face again and slide some lip gloss on and sprayed my perfume as I ran through it and was grabbing my keys and purse and was out that door.  My pulse was vibrating my entire body as I opened the door to the cab and told the driver the address to his place.  I tried to take deep relaxing breaths but it was no use, I was frantic to get to him.  I had so many questions as to what happened, where he went and why but I knew once I saw him, I would go down in flames before I could get a question out.

I got to his building and rushed in.  The door man remembered me and smiled as I hit the elevator button over an over until the doors opened.  I hopped in and watched them shut as my reflection shown back at me.  There I was standing in my light green V-neck t-shirt with dark jeans on and my navy Converse with no socks.  I didn’t even care what I actually looked like because I just needed to see him.  I forced myself to see myself right then.  What was I doing?  I was absolutely hedonistic right now.  It was damn near ridiculous.  As the doors opened and I got out and turned to the left towards his apartment door, it opened.  He was standing there bare chested in just jeans with his bare feet padding towards me.  I looked him over.  He looked me over.  I could barely swallow what little saliva I had in my mouth but I tried as I licked my lips in preparation of the kiss that was coming.  The kiss that was needed.  The kiss that had been withheld from me for too long.  He looked so lost, so gone, so fragile and I went to him.  His arms bare against me as they slid over my body and his breath that he was holding exhaled into my hair as he held me to him.  I could feel his skin against mine as his chest touched mine and my hands grasped his back.  I looked up at him and he down at me and his eyes blinked slowly as if he’d been in pain and now he felt comfort.  I looked up at him with concern and finally, finally he kissed me.  His lips so soft at first so cautious until I slid my tongue between his lips and showed him it was ok.  He responded rapidly.  He pulled me into the apartment slamming the door and turning me towards the wall behind it.  Pushing me against it with his body.  His full body was against me.  I could not move and I didn’t want to.  I tried to get words out like “why?” and “where have you been?” but all I could manage were sounds.  Sounds of passion.  Sounds of greed and necessity.  I needed him.  He needed me and so it was.  No answers were needed right now just two physical beings needing to be together and needing to be pleasured.  That was it.  There would be time for that later.  Right now I needed to make him remember me.  I needed to please him and he needed to please me.

And like no time had passed or space had been between us that is exactly what we did.  As soon as I freed myself from his kisses, I threw my shirt off for him to see me.  His face didn’t change expression as he was diligent in his actions right now.  He was on task and that task was satisfaction and fulfillment by bodily gratification.  He needed to show me how much he’d missed me.  He needed to show me how much he needed me.  That was all that was happening right now.  His look from the doorway to right now as he was on his knees in front of me trailing kisses along my stomach while his hands undid my jeans went from delusions like I was a mirage to a charmed enraptured man with his lips pressing fire onto my skin.  I nodded at him like it was ok, like he was worthy as he looked up at me with eyes of worship as if he were offering himself up to me.  A sacrifice or reverence of the rapture that was and will be held on high right here in his entry way.  A glorification of passion and weakness for the pure desire we have for one another.  His beastly benediction after the carnal ritual is over will be played again in reverse but with me at his feet and I looking up at him with doting devotion.  My hands on his shoulders and then in his hair with my head tipped back against the wall.  I swear if that wall could have moved it would have with the pressure that was being shoved against it.  Instead it was like I melted into it, like I melted into him.  Soon enough he was on his feet again and I was in his arms being lead down the hall to his room.  We stopped at the foot of his unmade bed and I turned him and sat him down.  Time to hit reverse. My turn to marvel in him, to service and sanctify him with my body.  To bestow upon the bountiful ecstasy that has been stored up for him.  The intensity of my urge is mountainous and needs release as does his.  It was all apparent and ready, so ready.

Let the lechery begin.

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