Appreciation

boardwalk-empire

So sweet and soft he sits.  Alone with his thoughts and his books and booze to drown out the world around him.  To hide his feelings and his hopes.  His fears trapped with loneliness as the coolness of the worn out wood covered floors settle beneath his bare feet.

Those strong hands hold that book open with conviction and pride. Not much different from when he holds his gun, the handle of his knife or clinches his fists in a fight.  How they can cause such pain and such pleasure is a question I will ponder horizontally in the tub.  My eyes close in remembrance of those hands of his.  I may have moaned a bit even. The way the searched my body.  His thumb on my lower lip before he kissed and bit it.  The way they would get lost in my hair as he would gently pull my head back to expose my neck to those luscious lips that would trace my jaw with nibbles, licks and kisses down my neck to my shoulders.  His hands leaving my hair to run down my back to my behind.  Grabbing handfuls while I could feel his lips curve to a smile with appreciation as I let him keep going. I was allowing him to take me and he knew it.  And he did.

He’s dressed again and all pressed and tucked in.  Never looking more divine than he does right there on the floor leaning against the bed we were just in.  The sheets and blanket  were clumped and lumped and disheveled from our movements but they are all pulled back tight now.  I can see him from the open bathroom door.  He looks up from his pages every so often as to check on me. To see if I am still there looking back at him.  My hair completely soaked and slicked back allowing my clean face to be fully seen.  My body warmed by the water slowly covers in goosebumps as I lean forward and hang my elbows over the side and rest my chin on my hands.  Water drips down my face over my lips and I lick it.  He notices this and he smiles with his eyes as he watches me.  His head moves just a bit to the side as he studies me.  Our glances back and fourth are now steadily held together from one room to other.  He holds me with his eyes and I am truly captivated by him.  My stomach churns with emotion and memories flood my mind.  Thoughts of what just took place between us. That want and need that was satisfied for the moment begins to grow again.  He planted that seed in me when he hugged me and left me breathless with that stolen kiss and his boyish smile as he walked away from me.  Knowing what he did excited me and pleased me and made me want him more than just a few word play encounters.  Oh it was more than just that.  It was all foreplay leading up to that party.  To him seeing me and taking me down the hall away from all the people and with his looks and lips on mine I gave him full permission to have me, to have my body.  To use it for his pleasure and grant me the indulgence of his as well.  We didn’t just give into the lust, we gave into the blissful, gluttonous gratification of being together in the throws of secret passion.  I was set ablaze by him.  He was the only thing that could snuff out that fire inside me.

From across the room looks from well dressed men to quick hellos between partners and soft handshakes from gloved handed ladies I couldn’t find him quick enough. And there he sat with his men around him and one of his women beside him.  In a velvet covered chair facing away from me he sat.  My eyes burrowing like a mole to get to him through the crowd.  My mind screaming form the inside “look at me!”  And then he did.  My pulse jumped and my lips moistened from me biting them in anticipation trying not to ruin my lipstick.  No, no, I wanted him to do that.  And do it he did as he shoved my willing body up against the picture clad wall of that safe hallway.  The clinking of glasses and chatter losing it’s loudness as he guided me far from it all.  Away yet so close.  No public eyes to see or ears to hear and the excitement of the intrigue and seclusion was intoxicating as was his scent that stayed on my dress as our bodies rubbed together.  I know because when we undressed in his room, I breathed him in as the dress was pulled up over my head by those hands. Oh those hands.  They worked on me like magic along with his lips.  He is sinfully delicious.

He’s still looking at me when I ask “what are you reading?”  “A book from college that I kept” he says so smoothly.  “Will you read it to me?” I ask.  “Maybe after you’re all clean” as says as he smiles and starts to get up.  “I am” I say with my voice lowered and giddy.  He says as his fingers go for his buttons “Well then, let’s get you dirty again and I will read to you afterwards.”  His hands slide off his suspenders and they dangle at his sides.  He unbuttons the shirt slowly and carefully.  Precise with his movements he removes his shirt and tosses it to the bed.  He goes for his pants unbuttoning them and pulling the zipper down and runs his hands under them catching his boxers with his thumbs and with in seconds he is fully naked.  Standing there in his own skin just looking at me.  I am in awe of him.  His pale skin glowing in the lamp light and his eyes dark with want and his chest heavy with breathing and pride in himself.  He’s next to the tub in a few steps and we take inventory of each others bodies with our eyes.  He leans down and brushes his hand over my wet hair, his palm resting on my cheek and I lean into it and his thumb traces my bottom lip and I kiss it as I gaze up at him full of need.  That’s all it took.  He plunges his hands into the water and lifts me up.  I am dripping all over him and I don’t care.  He holds me to him.  The heat from him warms my cooled by the air skin.  He’s ready and so am I.  Who knows when we will have this opportunity again so we take it and he takes me, again.  It’s hot.  Wet hot from my freshly bathed body.  All we need is a surface for me to rest on and it will begin.  Kisses that could devour time are exchanged.  I lose myself in the desire and call out his name.  He smiles and says “say it again” so I do and with that we are in full appreciation of one another.  Totally immerged and immersed in the manic rapture of inextinguishable desire that connects us now. Our appetites forever hungry for one another but satisfied by moments like this.  Possessed by it and exercised by the act.  The sheer act of pleasure that will bind us as lovers.  I am ready to be ravished. I am ready to worship him with myself.

“Boy, you were really hungry” he says as he rests me on the sink.  “Always” I reply as the kisses deepen and he steadies himself in front of me.  “Look at you, you are so beautiful like this” he says.  “Thank you, so are you, you look so kind and soft almost angelic” I say breathlessly.  “Oh, but I am far from angelic doll, far from it” he answers and with that he moves in and I am undone in an instant.  Shockwaves erupt inside me and I feel like I am falling and he is there to catch me.  His grip on me tightens and we are in unison together.  This time, this moment, this being is giving way to the eruptive behavior that fuels the inferno that he created inside of me.  In my mind and in my body it resides because of him.  My body that is a pyre in this bathroom and was in the bedroom mere hours ago.  I don’t know how long I can last?  I don’t know if we will last or if there is any merit to even saying “we”?   But what I do know is that he has me right now, all of me, and I am enraptured.

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